hello there
its been a long time. im doing good right now. been helping my bfs parents get stuff out of their house before the water hits in bismarck. the dr has cut my anxiety meds in half and im dealing fine with that. having some anxiety and worried thoughts about the bf if he gets a different job. hed be gone for periods of time and could be as far away as utah from me. im scared about that but well see what happens if he gets this job. he really wants it and i understand why and i dont blame him itll just be super hard if we dont get to see each other often. his final interview will be monday well see what happens from there. cant say whats going to happen in the future...such is life.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Havent been on in awhile
Sorry,
Been pretty busy. I now go see my therapist every two weeks and my doctor every four weeks.
My little sister was in the ER yesterday with horrible stomach pain. I was thinking oh no apendix etc... She was in so much pain she couldnt get out of bed. And it just came on in flash no joke in like 5 mins. We got her in and it turns out she is having stomach spasms from gym class. The teacher is over working the students. She had the worst asthma attach shes ever had on friday and the doctor thinks that is what triggered her to have these spasms. We get out of there come home and she sleeps for hours. She wakes up eats a few crackers drinks some water and goes back to sleep. Wakes up and vomits a huge amount. So here I am freaaking out! Now im worried its more than that im worried its something I can catch. UGH! I want to be better I am getting better just wish it would be easier.
Been pretty busy. I now go see my therapist every two weeks and my doctor every four weeks.
My little sister was in the ER yesterday with horrible stomach pain. I was thinking oh no apendix etc... She was in so much pain she couldnt get out of bed. And it just came on in flash no joke in like 5 mins. We got her in and it turns out she is having stomach spasms from gym class. The teacher is over working the students. She had the worst asthma attach shes ever had on friday and the doctor thinks that is what triggered her to have these spasms. We get out of there come home and she sleeps for hours. She wakes up eats a few crackers drinks some water and goes back to sleep. Wakes up and vomits a huge amount. So here I am freaaking out! Now im worried its more than that im worried its something I can catch. UGH! I want to be better I am getting better just wish it would be easier.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Happy New Year!
Well been doing pretty good lately...had a panick attack last night think alot of things factored into it. Kinda having thoughts again. Wondering why its coming back. Guess on the 17th ill have more work to do with the Dr and therapist. Im glad to be seeing them soon. I want to get better. Had some awesome days! Was in Bizzo a week or so ago for a few days seen Cole. Then he came here to see me for new years, had such a blast. Went to another town to watch a movie and go out to dinner with some friends, went ice skating, went to another movie here in town, drove around alot (theres so much to do here lol) seen some friends from here in town. And as of Dec 31st I have a new boyfriend. Cole is amazing. I searously couldnt ask for anything more. He understands me he helps me he makes me feel beautiful. I have so much fun when we are together. Its pretty great!!!! My family likes him alot too.
Im still doing all the treatment things im suppose to be doing. I think my hand washing has cut down a bit. Stll have some OCD things but in time I hope this all will pass. Last night was the worst Ive felt in weeks so Im pretty proud of myself. Im still scared alot like even now I am because I ate dinner not a gronola bar but I need to keep telling myself Im ok that if I was sick I wouldnt of ate I wouldnt feel good that id feel crappy for awhile. This too shall pass...
Happy New Year
Im still doing all the treatment things im suppose to be doing. I think my hand washing has cut down a bit. Stll have some OCD things but in time I hope this all will pass. Last night was the worst Ive felt in weeks so Im pretty proud of myself. Im still scared alot like even now I am because I ate dinner not a gronola bar but I need to keep telling myself Im ok that if I was sick I wouldnt of ate I wouldnt feel good that id feel crappy for awhile. This too shall pass...
Happy New Year
Saturday, December 18, 2010
awesome
Hello there!
Ive actually been doing pretty good the last few days since I seen my Dr and Therapist, Im staying on the meds im on but im getting the help I need to convince myself this isnt the end of the world. The therapist gave me some papers I have to read through and do work on and I only have three pages left. So far just reading it and doing the work I think has helped alot. Last night I went out in public for my sisters choir concert and tonight i went back out into pubic and watched her dance during half time. The whole time I was there tonight not once did I think i was going to catch something. I feel amazed and excited to know there is hope and help for me that I can get past this. I feel like Ive lifted a new leaf in my life and a weights been lifted off my shoulders. Its amazing. So I seen my Dr and therapist again in 4 weeks granting the roads are good. Im excited to. I want more work to do to try and get this better. I know theres no cure but a way to manage it and be like a "human" again would be great. I know im going to have set backs and everything but i feel hopeful.
Ive actually been doing pretty good the last few days since I seen my Dr and Therapist, Im staying on the meds im on but im getting the help I need to convince myself this isnt the end of the world. The therapist gave me some papers I have to read through and do work on and I only have three pages left. So far just reading it and doing the work I think has helped alot. Last night I went out in public for my sisters choir concert and tonight i went back out into pubic and watched her dance during half time. The whole time I was there tonight not once did I think i was going to catch something. I feel amazed and excited to know there is hope and help for me that I can get past this. I feel like Ive lifted a new leaf in my life and a weights been lifted off my shoulders. Its amazing. So I seen my Dr and therapist again in 4 weeks granting the roads are good. Im excited to. I want more work to do to try and get this better. I know theres no cure but a way to manage it and be like a "human" again would be great. I know im going to have set backs and everything but i feel hopeful.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Doctor and Therapist today woohoo
Wow doesnt that make a human tired? Found out from the Dr. meds are good going to stay with what im on for atleat another 4 weeks and go from there.
The therapist wow was that hard. I cryed the entire time but found hope when I thought id never seen an end to this. Im amazed Im so glad I went. I have some things to read and work on till I visit her again in 4 weeks...plan the same day an hour apart from the doctor since its an hour drive in good weather.
Today I feel hopeful for the first time since this all began..Its been a long journey that I know will never be gone completly but something I can control. Im proud of myself and so thankful for my family and friends for understand...this will take time too but im getting there...im getting there...
(I even went to my sisters choir concert in public tonight surround by people. I took the risk it was worth it my sister made me proud. I faced a fear head on like im suppose to.)
Good night
The therapist wow was that hard. I cryed the entire time but found hope when I thought id never seen an end to this. Im amazed Im so glad I went. I have some things to read and work on till I visit her again in 4 weeks...plan the same day an hour apart from the doctor since its an hour drive in good weather.
Today I feel hopeful for the first time since this all began..Its been a long journey that I know will never be gone completly but something I can control. Im proud of myself and so thankful for my family and friends for understand...this will take time too but im getting there...im getting there...
(I even went to my sisters choir concert in public tonight surround by people. I took the risk it was worth it my sister made me proud. I faced a fear head on like im suppose to.)
Good night
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I did pretty good today
I think ive been convinced that im not going to get sick this time around. Its still in my head in the back but I keep telling myself im in the clear. I even helped my sister with homework and hung out with the family. Thats a big step. I left my room and went out where she was sick.
So im off to another town tomorrow to see the doctor and therapist I hope it helps.
Im going to bed now since I have to get up early and go Christmas shopping there too...
Peas
So im off to another town tomorrow to see the doctor and therapist I hope it helps.
Im going to bed now since I have to get up early and go Christmas shopping there too...
Peas
so today
Has been pretty good so far besides the rain storm we had that turned into ice on impact. Man its nasty out. Lost power for awhile last night. My sister is doing good shes at school and has dance practice tonight, Im still fearing im going to catch a flu from her. Im hoping like mom and dad are saying it was the food but IDK. Some drs said it was some said it was a virus and we have alot of them going around. Thanks doc that helped lol... well im off for now need to go to the pharmacy.
Peas
Peas
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