Wednesday, November 24, 2010

When my hell became a real hell

 4 Days ago my sister had the flu. It wasnt one of thoes ones where you know its going to happen. We rented movies that night I had her invite a friend over she was fine. We all had a slumber party in the livingroom watching movies and being goofy. About 5am she woke up sick...like out of the blue...she was sick twice...So as you can imagine my anxiety is through the roof at this point...I wanted to run away from myself if you can understand that.
I handled it better than I EVER thought I could. I did hid in my room but I did not run away. I even asked her a few times when I went out to where she was if I could get her anything and how she was feeling. No joke the next day she was fine. She even went to school the next day a Monday and aced all her tests. She even went to dance. Shes such a trooper and I wish I could be more like her. ( My moms also Emet)

So my emet has broken up a relationship I was in for over a year, he had a son I treated as my own and took care of 24/7. I know being single now is a good thing and I feel its for the best. I often wonder if I stayed in that relationship for the child for so long knowing I wasnt getting what I needed or deserved.

Im seeing a Dr. Im getting help. Im doing a workbook on anxiety and phobias. Im doing what I can to get better because no one can live like this forever.

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