Had a good night tonight with the folks

But now its getting late everyone is going to bed and alls I can think about it what ifs? What if i caught the flu from someone what if im going to get sick all these what ifs? So i sit here trying to convince myself im ok right now i just ate a gronola bar I drink my vitmains(can take the pills they hurt my stomach) and i drink plenty of water.  Im just so sick and tired of being this way somedays i think itd be easier to just not be around to deal with it. No i wont do anything to hurt myself but its a thought i do have sometimes. I just wish i wasnt such a freak and I wish more people understood the true fear i have in this.